Sunday, May 23, 2010

Bridesmaiding, or how to spend an exorbitant amount to look worse


Women in their mid-late twenties have a big problem.  I am not talking about the impending fear of osteoporosis or the growing concerns of keeping your neck moisturized.  I am talking about Bridesmaiding.

A good friend of mine is the maid of honour in a wedding where she has to wear 4-inch diamond-studded heels, a lemon coloured dress, get a $300 hairdo, and attend 2 stagettes (one in Vegas) and 2 showers.  She is not quite sure why she is the maid of honour, but it means she is required to attend weekly "planning" meetings. I also have another friend who is 8 months pregnant and was asked to wear a strapless hot pink number with silver heels.

Last year I was in 3 wedding parties, in what could almost be considered the Olympics of wearing sucky metallic shoes.  Of course, it is always flattering to be asked, and every event involves a soggy, heartfelt speech by the bride about their appreciation for your friendship.  It is just heartfelt enough for you to forget the $500+ round trip ticket you purchased to get there.  Or the shiny shoes.  Or your stiff, anachronistic bouffant hairstyle.  Or the turquoise dress with boning that digs into your engorged stomach because you ate too many perogies during the dinner reception.  Hopefully your efforts are also enough to let the bride forget that you drank too many glasses of champagne to alleviate the anxiety of having her older relatives talk to you about your aging body.