Thursday, June 3, 2010

Beechwood 4-5789

2 weeks ago my mother saw yet another exposé on the dangers of cell phone usage (did you know cell phones cause cancer?  No, for real this time!  This American Life and Details are all over it!).  Being the paranoid cynic that she is (we have so much in common), she urgently advised I get a landline.  Unlike many of the other things she has suggested I do over the years (eat more flax seed; stop wearing strapless dresses because they indicate I am a trollop; date a short Vietnamese engineer), I heeded her warnings and set that bad boy up.

I must say, it is quite refreshing to press a regularly-sized handset against my ear.  My carpal tunnel has never been happier.  Also, how adorable are rotary phones?  They are irresistible!

We used to have this yellow phone when I was a kid.  An elderly woman owned our house before us, and I recall going to visit her when my parents were finalizing the details of the purchase.  Her house was glowing from all the warm golden hues of her furnishings.  In a glass cabinet was a large collection of mini porcelain animals (she gave me a raccoon, a cat, and a chipped bichon frise dog as gifts and I treasured them for years) and her wallpaper was a vibrant 1970s floral print.  However, my favourite part of the house was her dining table centrepiece - a man made out of plastic fruit, complete with banana body and grape hair.  He sat on a perfectly white doily and I had never wanted anything more in my life than that banana man.